The Cost of Financial Abdication

In spite of decades of the women's movement some attitudes are difficult to change. Many more women are in the workforce than 30 or 40 years ago. Many women make substantial salaries - some even make more than their spouses. A recent survey showed that 56% of married women still leave major investing and financial decisions to their spouses. 61% of that group, qualified as millennials, fall into that category. (Those born between 1981 and 1991.)

Women who have experienced divorce or widowhood plead with their colleagues to pay attention to important financial decisions that will profoundly impact their future! These women suffered the consequences of lack of involvement in financial decision making and urge others to break the cycle of financial abdication.

Some of the surprises that surfaced:
- outdated or lost wills making the estate distribution more costly and time consuming.
- hidden debt and credit cards,
- shared beneficiaries,
- hidden spending,
- secret accounts,
- undisclosed IRA's or 401k plans,
- lack of adequate life insurance or huge loans against life insurance policies.

Remember, women usually live longer than men. Whether you choose to be single or become single as a result of death or divorce, you will need the confidence and experience of being financially savvy.

Be $ Smart - make financial decisions a partnership. You need to protect your future.

Prepare an LOI

LOI = Letter of Instruction, not laughing out loud or lots of luck.
It goes along with your will and ties together loose ends that have not been addressed through your will or trust.

In an LOI you can mention to whom you would like to leave a piece of jewelry, your favorite tools, a piece of art, an expensive watch, etc. This helps your executor know your wishes and reduces any family friction as to "who gets what"!

You may also state certain requests and preferences in your LOI about funeral arrangements, services, burial or cremation as well as songs, prayers, rituals and family traditions.

If you are young and in good health with no intention of dying you may pose these questions to your parents or grandparents. You certainly want to honor their wishes and encouraging them to put these wishes in writing provides immeasurable relief to those left behind with the job of distributing their estate.

It also opens the door to:
Bring up inheritance issues for discussion.
Decide what "fair" means.
Ask family members what items they would like.
Consider how to deal with family dynamics and conflicts before they arise.

Be $ Smart - make your wishes known by preparing an LOI to ease the task for your loved ones.

THE Important Conversation

Too many families are avoiding THE important conversation. No, not the one about the birds and the bees; the one about estate planning. Estate means what you own and planning means how it will be used in the future. You don’t have to own much to do some estate planning.

Maybe you are young and have not built your estate yet but chances are you have parents who have accumulated a few things. You need to know what they have done about estate planning. It then becomes tricky. You hesitate to ask your parents about their retirement or estate plans. You might not want to appear greedy or eager to see them pass on. Your parents are reluctant to share this information with you for fear of giving you hopes (or disappointment) about inheritance. So everyone is in the dark!

Not having “the important conversation” can lead to misconceptions. Who will care for your aging parents? You? Your sibling? Or are you hoping your parents will have the resources to move into an assisted living facility? Won’t you be surprised when they decide to move in with you! Or better yet, take your inheritance and buy a fancy home in St. Thomas.

Do your parents have sufficient income to stay in their own home? Will they need both physical and financial help from you along the way? Maybe they have sufficient assets to live a long and comfortable life. How will you know, as they age, if they have participated in some scam that could drastically reduce their assets unless you know what assets they have?

At first it might feel awkward. Start with a few simple questions like: how are you and dad doing? What are your plans for the future? How will you make that happen? It might take two or three tries but eventually they will open up and you’ll all feel better.

If you are the parent, make time to have THE conversation with your children or loved ones.

Be $ smart - give yourself and your parents peace of mind. Have THE conversation.

Personal stories...

We never know how our lives may be impacted.  Right now I am awaiting the arrival of Sandy and wondering what havoc the storm will wreak.   I also feel powerless with my daughter, 8 1/2 months pregnant, over 200 miles away wondering how she will fare with the storm's low pressure and a full moon!
Life sometimes throws us lemons; it's up to us to make lemonade.

Please read the personal stories of a few people whose lives I have been privileged to guide:
One wintry, snow filled night Louise R. and her husband, Stan were returning from a friend's home in the next town.  The roads were icy and Stan could not control the car.  Stan did not survive the accident and Louise was hospitalized for two months.  No sooner was she home than the insurance agent arrived with the check for the life insurance policy on her late husband.  Before he left, he had sold Louise an annuity using the insurance  proceeds.  Fortunately, Louise had a good friend who called me for assistance.  I was able to review the annuity, determine it was not appropriate for Louise and had her money returned to her.  Louise understood she was grieving the loss of her husband and was not able to make important decisions at this time.  She hired me to assist her with all financial decisions for one year.

Margaret L. came to me devastated on learning that her doctor husband of 28 years had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and had less than a year to live.  Margaret was an artist and never bothered with money leaving all the decisions and bill-paying to Hal.  Over the next six months Margaret met with me for one hour a week learning financial terms and taking  money-tasks home to perform.   She arrived for her appointment one day very excited about a visit to their estate attorney the previous day; she actually understood what the attorney had presented!

Cathy C.  had  a trust fund left to her by her grandparents.  She gave me a call to learn if she should refinance her mortgage.  After reviewing Cathy's substantial portfolio we were able to determine she had more than enough assets to pay off the loan  and live mortgage-free.   We also reviewed the charities to which she contributed 10% annually based on her family tradition.   We found new organizations that spoke to those things about which Cathy felt strongly.

Larry T. had suffered an injury while working as a carpenter apprentice for which he received a  reasonable  settlement.  We reviewed Larry's job prospects and financial goals.   Larry opened a savings account and paid off his credit cards and medical bills.  Once those items were satisfied Larry had enough money to put a downpayment on a small wood-working shop of his own.

Sally P. had been a nurse for almost 30 years.  She was single and frugal.  Toying with the idea of retiring in a few years, Sally wanted to start enjoying the fruits of her labors while she was still physically able.  Her dream was to take one BIG trip a year until she retired.  On reviewing Sally's savings, pension and social security we determined Sally would certainly have sufficient money to satisfy her wanderlust without jeopardizing her future.